Day 9.035: Exile #2's Sunday Column #94

Exile #2 writes...

As I've mentioned before, messages from the US government weather service are a vital source of safety information about extreme weather events. They are also an endless source of entertainment. When we moved to Maine, we were delighted to discover a whole new world of weather warnings relating to "high lunar tides" and "splash over".

This week, though, it's been all about the cold. We were advised to cancel any plans for hiking in the mountains for the following reason:

WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES SATURDAY WILL RANGE FROM ABOUT -30 IN THE LOWER ELEVATIONS TO ABOUT -60 IN EXPOSED AREAS NEAR THE PEAKS. WIND CHILL VALUES SATURDAY NIGHT WILL DROP TO -40 IN THE LOWER ELEVATIONS TO NEAR -70 NEAR THE PEAKS.

A WIND CHILL TEMPERATURE OF -35 CAN FREEZE EXPOSED SKIN IN 10 MINUTES. WIND CHILL TEMPERATURES BELOW -50 CAN FREEZE EXPOSED SKIN IN LESS THAN 5 MINUTES.

A fairly persuasive argument, I think. Even near us, we were warned that the wind chills could

...RESULT IN FROST BITE AND LEAD TO HYPOTHERMIA IF PRECAUTIONS ARE NOT TAKEN.

However, I couldn't help feeling that they ended up sounding like me on a school morning with their follow-up suggestion:

...MAKE SURE YOU WEAR A HAT AND GLOVES.

Finally, in other news, we also received the following disturbing communication from the older Exiles' school.

"Swim meeting tonight in the SMS Library."

I don't think the librarians will be too pleased.